Tracks
what do birds keep inside their nests? is it keys? tiny swords? shoes for birds? there is literally no way of knowing
eggs
thats just ridiculous, how they gonna cook eggs? they dont even have a stove
proof-reads ask about 5,000 times before sending
proof-reads school essay about 0 times before sending
EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT SHIT FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME
(Source: bombprince)
That moment when you realize that The Lion King was the first animated film to have same-sex parents
And they weren’t even the same species.
“But it’s not natural!”
“There’s no way any child raised by two men could be happy, or even content.”
“But now their child will be gay.”
“He will never have a normal, real relationship.”
“He’ll be socially inept and never amount to anything.”
Respected king.
Loved father.
I rest my case.
And just for the hell of it…
You can be a homo too!
-
Me:
*home alone*
-
Me:
*in the shower* IMAGINE LIVING LIKE A KING SOMEDAAAYY
-
Me:
*preparing a snack* KISS ME AGAIIIN, UNDERNEATH THE MOON LIIGHT
-
Me:
*running around* LONG LIVE THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVEE
-
Me:
*Upside down, balancing on the couch* IM MARRIED TO THE MUSIC, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSEEE
-
Me:
*into a hairbrush* YOUR FOREVER IS AL THAT I NEEEED
-
Family:
*gets home*
-
Me:
*locks herself in room and goes on Tumblr*
fave
(Source: themarke)
Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a final only to get a C. You give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 40%. You’re there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don’t pick up their phone. It seems like you’re giving everyone everything and they’re just walking away with it.
this times a fucking thousand
When a customer is incredibly rude and then tries to get me to go the extra mile for them.
russia coming 15 minutes late to the 1917 revolution holding a tsarbucks
15 minutes late they clearly weren’t
russian
looks like they were
stalin
you guys are putin way too much time into this
(Source: democracykills)
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
I was going to tell a chemistry joke, because they’re sodium funny, but all the good ones argon.
Sorry, I have to take the Chemistry AP in the morning, and I thought this was relevant.
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”
YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
(Source: iseeavoice)
